This is a chance for you the reader to help contribute to what you see published
here on the Web. Twice a week, we will post a new topic,
and solicit suggestions
for the top ten entries for that subject. The results will be compiled
and displayed one week after the topic was posted. Remember that we get
hundreds of submissions
for each topic, so don't get discouraged if we haven't
picked one of yours yet.
Top Ten Signs You're Too Old to Have a Nose Ring
(submitted by bananna)
When you think of body piercings, you think of National Geographic.
(Stephen H, Stephen H)
You know Fortran, but have trouble with these new-fangled phones!
You don't want to be shunned by the bridge club.
Your grasp of the young person vernacular required to communicate with the piercing store staff isn't as good as you thought it was, dawg.
When purchasing your nose ring, you ask if they offer an AARP Discount.
It creates a harmonic buzz with your dental bridgework.
You stop to think "Hey wait a minute, that might be stupid" instead of just jumping right up and punching holes in your body.
When you go to get the nose ring, the person says "you've already got a nose ring, I did this last week."
No one can detect your ruby nose stud amidst all the liver spots.
When you stand on your front porch, people keep mistaking you for a Gargoyle with a door knocker.
Monday's Subject: Top Ten Reindeer Pet Peeves
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Thursday's Subject: Top Ten Phrases Never to Close a News Program with
(submitted by Madam Annie Whittington)
We welcome suggestions for list topics.
As always, if you have any other questions or suggestions
please send them to us at
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Last modified: Dec 12, 2013