direct from . . .
Top Ten Perks of Working for the National Enquirer
(submitted by XLR8R)
Meeting interesting new people, like bat-boy, Elvis's two headed baby, and Britney Spears love-child
No more pesky "Reality Police"
(Krig the Viking)
It satisfies your lifelong goal of burning every bridge possible in the field of journalism.
Free backrubs from either the lady with two heads or the frog boy... your choice
You get kicked out of all the greatest parties on Oscar night!
Free upgrades of Photoshop and all the film you can manipulate!
Free beatings by the celebrity of your choice!
All those interview trips to Blzirthmork and the Crab Nebula really boost your Frequent Flyer Miles total.
You do the same thing Enron's accounting firm did, but you don't get in trouble for it.
You can borrow the UFO every third weekend.
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Last modified: Jun 7, 2004