direct from . . .
Top Ten New Microsoft Products
(the insignificant one)
MS Bum Simulator: Find best money borrowing phrases then purchase least food and most booze possible for survival
Microsoft Uber-Turbo Mouse: Allows you to completely do away with the keyboard with only a simple 32 mouse-click combination.
(Boom Oy! (What kind of wine goes with Soylent Green?))
Hot Wheels Microsoft Machines: A new line of die-cast metal "action" cars. (Warning: windows may not open, cars crash frequently, and drivers not included.)
A new preschool game: Jr. Crush-All-Small-Businesses Set, complete with pirate costumes! Arrrr!
Microsoft Hair Parlour: A new toy for your kids. They can cut their hair to look like the world's richest man
(me, not you)
Software UnUnInstaller: Answers the question: Who uninstalls the uninstaller?
(Bill the Pill)
Age of Empires V: The Age of Bill
Microsoft Word, now with a hot original soundtrack by 'N Sync
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Last modified: Jun 21, 1999