direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Something is Wrong at the Zoo
(submitted by JEB)
No matter what the tour guide tells you, you're certain there was never a duckbill polar bear.
Stripes keep washing off the zebras during heavy rains.
Johnny Cochrane has been meeting with the elephants for the past three days.
The food court is swarming with penguins, and the penguin house is full of tied-up people in food service uniforms.
Free range tigers.
(The Lizard Queen)
The zookeeper's copies of Animal Farm and Planet of the Apes are missing.
They can't even breed rabbits or cockroaches
Their main attraction went from "Sparky the Seal" to "Twiggy the Almost World-Famous Water-Skiing Squirrel"
The main restuarant in the zoo is serving tiger burgers and roasted eagle.
Hyenas follow behind tour groups, picking off the weaker, slower visitors.
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Last modified: Nov 5, 1998