direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Your House Won't Appear in Better Homes and Gardens
(submitted by Got Tofu?)
You haven't gotten it out of the tree and put the wheels back on it since the April tornado.
The controversial "Yard-Junk of the Midwest" issue was unexpectedly vetoed by magazine Big-Wigs.
(I am A)
They're too full of themselves to recognize the beauty and practicality of a dinette set made entirely from broken toilets.
(DAN ze MAN)
To improve your garden you removed all the slugs, but, not wanting to kill the poor inocent creatures, you used them as table decorations.
You're happy weeds are perennials.
You are saving dust on end tables for use as potting soil.
"Then, you turn left onto the dirt road.... Hello? Hello?"
(Michael H. Ivester Greenville, SC)
Pigeon guano is not considered to be an acceptable substitute for stucco.
You haven't gone into the master bedroom since the dust-bunnies started blocking the door.
You have an attractive kitchen island, but first you have to cross the "Sea of Dirty Dishes"
Christian and Scott thank Chris Mulder from Agoura, CA; the graphics on this
page are his creations.
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Last modified: Oct 15, 1998