direct from . . .
Top Ten Good Things About the Heat Wave
(submitted by Impulse Shopper)
You can use your forehead instead of your tongue to lick stamps.
Increased possibility of Linda Tripp, Monica Lewinsky and Kenneth Starr spontaneously combusting
You can enjoy the sweet melody of the ice cream man's truck every half hour.
Your hairy backed neighbor doesn't look as gross with the sweat matting the hair down.
No longer bothered by migrating penguins trying to mate with pink lawn flamingos on front yard.
When someone tries to say "Hot enough for ya?", their lungs burst into flame.
All those sexy, old, pot-bellied men don't mind sitting on their front porch without shirts on.
No bumper crop of broccoli or cauliflower
It keeps the boisterous elderly folk from running amok .
That special sweaty underwear feel
Christian and Scott thank Chris Mulder from Agoura, CA; the graphics on this
page are his creations.
Copyright © 1995-2015, Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton
Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton (hereafter the authors) retain full
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Last modified: Aug 10, 1998