direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons the Earth Has Not Been Invaded by Aliens Yet
Fran Dresher's screechy voice scares them all away.
They are still negotiating for a better deal from the Jerry Springer show.
Their scout ships were carjacked when they landed in LA.
They're waiting for the Cubs to win a pennant.
The right to invade Earth is being negotiated by 2 intergalactic powers... we're the planet to be named later.
Pauly Shore promised not to make any movies on their planets if they leave us alone.
Campaign to lull Earthlings into complacency through positive portrayal of aliens in movies hasn't gone as well as hoped.
After coming the first 100 million light years, they had to go back and check if the iron was still on.
Invasion advice given by Alabama abductees
Waiting for the "invade one world-get one free" sale
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Last modified: Jun 22, 1998