direct from . . .
Top Ten Things Overheard in the Dugout on Opening Day
"I hope swinging a baseball bat doesn't screw up my golf game."
"And don't forget guys, when the camera is on you, SCRATCH!"
"I hope the people come to see us and not the waterfall in center field."
"Boy attendance is really up since they replaced Bat Night with Baywatch Day!"
"Was that the 'bunt" sign or is Coach still suffering from Jock Itch?"
"SALTED?!? My contract specifically states 'plenty of unsalted sunflower seeds available in the dugout during each game'."
(The A Man)
"Pass the word, wind's high out of the West, spit towards third base."
"No! I said grip the stitches on the BASEBALL!"
"Well coach...between court dates, suspensions, injuries, and contratual obligations for personal appearances, I think I can give you about 35 games this year."
"Hey, is it really true that the New York Yankees' dugout has 12 steps?"
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Last modified: Apr 16, 1998