direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons You Were Not Nominated For an Oscar
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
There were clearly still not enough explosions, offensive jokes, and shaky-cam CGI. You need to fit more in the next one, then.
(Krig the Viking)
Sock puppet theatre just doesn't get a lot of respect these days.
You didn't make a very convincing cat in that ceiling fan video.
Apparently, there is no category for "Best Actor in a Documentary of Birthdays Parties for 5 Year Olds." I nailed that part.
You weren't acting...and anyway, security camera footage on Youtube doesn't qualify.
Your film had to do with a clown in a rowboat with a coyote as its climatic ending
(The Frunkus Kid)
Sure, there was nudity in your film, but it wasn't weird or offputting.
You couldn't even convince your boss you were sick.
Your performance as the drunk in the Christmas pagent was called "inspired" and "brilliantly accurate." Yet, the fact remains that you weren't supposed to be in the Christmas pagent.
It doesn't matter if it was the performance of a lifetime, there's no category for best faked soccer injury.
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Last modified: Jan 29, 2015