direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons You Weren't Chosen To Perform At The Super Bowl
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
You were chosen, but you asked if "Super Bowl" was a new show on the Food Network. You were then unchosen.
You were told ventriloquists are more effective in a "smaller venue."
There really isn't a demand for a roller skating heavy metal kazoo player.
(The Frunkus Kid)
Your only talent is juggling. One thing at a time.
You impersonate Tiny Tim. His fans hate you because you're impersonating him. Everyone else hates you because you do it perfectly.
Although you're an artist at the top of your field, oil painting isn't very exciting to watch.
(Krig the Viking)
They passed a law against people who can make armpit noises in 1973.
(Madam Annie Whittington)
It's all about the money. Specifically, they said, "You couldn't pay us enough to put this goober on TV."
If you had a Wardrobe Malfunction, the cleaning bill to remove the vomit from the stadium would be huge.
Your singing career still has a pulse.
(lefty, No Dear they didn't, MLehde)
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Last modified: Feb 3, 2014