direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways To Tell Cap'n Crunch Isn't a Real Captain
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Refers to the sides of his boat as drivers side and passenger, not port and starboard.
"Cap'n" is really short for "Cap and." All this time Crunch has actually been possessed by his cap.
He get very confused by the coordinate system for Battleship.
Only three stripes on his sleeves! That makes him COMMANDER Crunch.
(No dear he isn't)
No record anywhere of a Lieutenant Crunch getting promoted.
(The Incognito Penguin)
Real captains don't have their eyebrows attached to their hats.
His Naval Academy ring is plastic and has a compass.
Any real sailor would not be bothered by "the Soggies."
In speaking with shipbuilders, he dismisses wood and insists that cardboard is a better medium for delivery.
Upon inspection, his framed Academy diploma appears to be just an enlarged copy of a "Box Top For Education."
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Last modified: Oct 13, 2014