direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways to Make The World Cup More Thrilling
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Eliminate everyone who goes by one name.
The court must be frosted with chocolate pudding.
Allow two balls in play at the same time.
Add a back wall that frames the goal and can be used for richocet passes.
Replace the grass with ice, cleats with skates, and the ball with some sort of small disk-like object; have the players use curved stick instead of feet.
Replace the penalty kick shootout with a shootout involving apples on heads and high powered fire hoses
Midfield swing overhead with scythe blades
Start making America more European - the metric system, unnecessary vowels - and a love of soccer will follow.
Luis Suarez in every game. Not on any team, though, just in the game, biting people at random.
If you are caught flopping and acting like the other team broke your ankle, they actually break your ankle.
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Last modified: Jul 7, 2014