direct from . . .
Top Ten Real Reasons David Letterman Is Retiring in 2015
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
He reminds himself more every day of Larry King with a band.
There comes a point in a man's life when he says, "Yes, I think I have interviewed Madonna enough times."
A meteor is going to hit Earth in 2015. Enceladus, a moon of Saturn, is now know to have liquid water. Letterman needs spare time to build a spaceship.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
Obamacare does not not recognize dental defects as "pre-existing" conditions.
His ticker can't take another guest appearance by Drew Barrymore.
(The Incognito Penguin)
The batteries in his "Life-size Paul Shaffer Animatronic Laugh-at-and-insert-commentary-to-stale-jokes Puppet" only last until then.
(Thomas Palsson, The Incognito Penguin)
He can attend all Yankee home games and heckle opponents with old monologues.
Despite the show taping at 1pm, it's still a little past bed time for Dave.
He outlasted Leno at late night TV, now he wants to beat Leno at retirement.
Going to Broadway to star in the "Odd Couple" with Regis.
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Last modified: Apr 21, 2014