direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs You're Neither Fast nor Furious
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
You think "nitrous" refers only to dental procedures.
You were just elected the back-up treasurer in your Friday night bowling league.
You take out your anger at world injustices and your need for revenge through a lively game of croquet.
You can't drive fast enough to smash a bug on your windshield.
(IOIO to work IGO)
When you ride to work on your scooter, you avoid eye contact with every driver on the road.
Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo) once kicked your butt, and Alan Alda once stole your woman.
When you get angry, you get the uncontrollable urge to grab the nearest turtle and make a face at it.
You drive a Prius made of balsa wood that runs on pure love.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
Between the nuclear strength arthrits medication and prozac, you just don't have the fire in you anymore.
Instead of the Road Runner and Tasmanian Devil, your personal totems are Piglet and Pappa Smurf.
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Last modified: Jun 6, 2013