direct from . . .
Top Ten Things To Look for in the New O. J. Simpson Trial
(submitted by Micklin T. Rahe, Who Thinks Kato Did It)
To address O.J.'s irresponsible, buffoonish personna, Judge Judy will sternly lecture him to "grow up and stop acting like you can get away with murder"..
Book Deals, sequestered jury, purjury, maybe a Kardashian or 2, you know ... standard OJ Trial stuff
A 5 mph high-speed, limping foot pursuit through the courthouse
(Good Ol' Horseface)
In the first week alone, six jurors will be dismissed for whispering fat jokes to each other.
(Madam Annie Whittington)
A wider selection of clothing that doesn't fit
OJ offering to sell the rights to his second conviction to CSI Las Vegas in return for a starring role
The zombie corpse of Johnnie Cochran rising from his grave to offer some meaningless rhyme that wins over the jury
A renewed promise to find the real killers
Pre-trial "where are they now" retrospective featuring Ito, Kato, Mark Fuhrman, and the rest
The 20 and under crowd will wonder if this trial is for a fictional Simpson's character, Jessica Simpson's father, or an orange juice tycoon.
(JAM's Friend PRL3)
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Last modified: Jun 3, 2013