direct from . . .
Top Ten Sure-Fire Ways to Avoid the Flu This Year
(submitted by Bentley Bones)
Become a ninja.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
Hold your breath from December through May.
(rorschak, Oops they did it again.)
Trade the flu for motion sickness by signing up for a six-month stint on the International Space Station.
Carry your pet timber rattlesnake with you on all elevators to ensure that nobody crowds you.
Become more of a creepy guy. No one will want to be near you.
Maintain a continuous cycle of being drunk, passed out, and hung over.
Sleep at the morgue. Although a bit chilly, you can be assured no one will sneeze or cough on you.
(Or will they SissyRoll?)
Shrink wrap yourself
Conduct your own personal innoculation program by sleeping with every flu-suffering super model that you can find.
Duct tape. Apply very liberally.
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Last modified: Dec 10, 2012