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Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Horrible Thanksgiving Day Parade
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
The largest donations came from PETA and The American Vegan Society.
You keep spotting hitch hikers in the crowd trying to get a lift.
Grand Marshall of the Parade: Any current member of Congress
The lead balloon is one of those balloon animal dogs.
The balloons are of characters with names like "Ricky Mouse," "Large Bird," and "Bernie The Blue Dinosaur"
(Toujin, Good Ol' Horseface)
You are asked to throw candy at the floats, because they are filled with the homeless.
One of the floats is a working butcher shop, with a diminishing number of live turkeys on board.
Your kids started doing their homework 20 minutes into the parade.
It turns out a mob of Occupiers just overran a park balloon vendor.
For the first 20 minutes you thought the news was reporting on how bad traffic is.
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Last modified: Nov 28, 2011