direct from . . .
Top Ten New Ways To Clean Up Oil Spills
(submitted by Stephen H)
"Bucket of Oil Day" at nearby football and baseball games
Huge gravy boat with a grease lip on it: pour off the salt water.
Use shredded documents from Goldman Sachs.
Suck it up, SpongeBob Squarepants!
(red cap n all)
Heat up the ocean to 350 degrees and dunk 4000 tons of thinly sliced potatoes. The resulting snack will clean up the oil spill AND feed millions!
Strip the wool suits off all the lawyers flocking to the coast. Use them to soak up the oil.
I heard somewhere that endangered species soak up oil spills like no one's business, so we can just....oh we can't do that? Too bad.
(blue state baby)
Declare spilled oil to be an illegal alien. Let Arizona get rid of it.
How about a pipeline back to Alaska?
Assemble the most famous singers on the planet to form a supergroup to sing about how bad oil spills are.
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Last modified: May 17, 2010