direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways to Tell Your 4th of July Party is Getting Out of Control
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Your permit for the parade route was just approved.
The noise level hasn't gone down significantly, even though someone has thrown your HDTV and Surround Sound system into the pool.
(No dear I didn't)
Fighter jets were scrambled to do a fly-by check.
Roman candle wars
Your skin has turned red, your hair is white, and your tongue is blue.
You don't believe Uncle Ray when he says that the 4th of July is the one day of the year when it really is legal to set off C4 in residential neighborhoods.
(No dear it wasn't)
The National Guard had to be called out again, and this time, seven men got Medals of Honor.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
It's been going on for ten days now so you just change your decorations to "Bastille Day" and keep partying.
You are thinking of combining the "fireworks finale" with the "quick cooking process" for chicken course.
You've all grabbed paint guns, hijacked a speedboat, and set course for England.
(Iron Chef Klingon)
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Last modified: Jul 6, 2009