direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways to Pass a Long Airplane Flight
Spend the entire flight convincing the senile elderly couple across from you that you're actually flying to the airport you just departed from. Enlist the flight staff for help if necessary.
Grease the wheels on the beverage cart.
Go up and down the aisle and make scary faces at the babies to see if you can get all of them crying in unison.
(No Dear I didn't)
Remember you still have the bowling alley, pool table and jacuzi in your carry-on.
Practice throwing a bag of peanuts so that it skims across the heads of all the passengers in front of you.
Buzz the flight attendant and ask her when she'll be serving drinks. When she answers exclaim loudly, "No I don't know anyone on board who can land this plane."
Look at a newspaper picture under a magnifying glass. Now, connect the dots.
Bring a scientific notebook with you. Pick your nose. Make notes, complete with sketches.
Style the hair of the lady in front of you while she's asleep.
Jump on your seat, throw peanuts on your sister, scream, unfold and close the table repeatedly, kick the seat in front of you, run up and down the aisle, get sick.
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Last modified: Feb 4, 2008