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Top Ten Signs the Squirrels Have It in for You
(submitted by i want a g.i. joe)
Finding your mailbox full of acorns was weird enough, but your gas tank too?!
Every time you offer them food, they bite your fingers before running off with the food, yelling over their shoulder that it was an accident, honest.
Your enormous collection of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" records
"I know where you live" is spelled out in acorns on your front lawn.
Your dog is missing. Your wife ran away screaming something about "little red eyes everywhere." And you keep finding your car's brake lines gnawed open and clogged with acorns.
They keep ordering walnut and onion pizzas in your name.
You wake up to find the head of an acorn in your bed.
You see one out your window every morning with a walkie talkie.
When you step in the backyard, they are all dressed up in flyers caps and scarves and keep referring to you as Boris ... and by the way, where did the moose come from?
They placed spotters in the tree to guide birds in.
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Last modified: Sep 15, 2008