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Top Ten Unexpected Benefits of Off-Shore Drilling
(submitted by Major Tom)
The black goo on the beach will keep your TEVA soles from wearing out.
May provide badly needed profits for Big Oil.
It acts as white noise for aquatic animals who can't sleep.
The platforms will make nifty islands when global warming wipes out coastlines.
No more fat people on nude beaches.
It might keep Cheney distracted for awhile: Oil covered birds are even easier to shoot than caged quail.
You wanna talk homeland security, do ya? Think flaming shorelines!
The drilling is bound to leak oil, contaminating lots of cute little animals, which you will be helping clean with all of the cute girls who want to save them.
It will drastically lower property values and will make oceanfront living affordable for all and solve the mortgage crisis!
10,000 feet under the ocean bed is a 9 feet layer of pure marshmellow.
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Last modified: Aug 7, 2008