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Top Ten Things You'll Do With Your Next Economic Stimulus Check
(submitted by RiverCityKid)
Pay off gambling losses incurred due to first stimulus check.
Pay off my taxes... the last one sure didn't cover it!
Fix the hole in the ceiling that you made jumping up and down when you got the last one.
Finish paying off the things you bought with your last economic stimulus check.
Hire a private investigator to find out what happened to the first stimulus check I was supposed to get.
Interest rates are down! Home prices are down! Buy a house! After all, you didn't need to have a job to buy your last one.
(Oops I did it again.)
Buy 800,000 shares of General Motors, or a new I-pod.
Make a bunch of "Will Work for Food!" signs, on the cheap, then sell them to those without your consumer-needs knowledge.
Stick it in your bank account and not spend it, to see if they'll send you more.
Close my eyes and pretend that I'm a huge corporate debtor, receiving a well-deserved bailout.
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Last modified: Dec 29, 2008