direct from . . .
Top Ten Things Pluto Will Do Now That It's Not a Planet
(submitted by Tom Servo)
Cancel its remaining therapy sessions geared towards boosting its "planetary self esteem"
(JDAii (I can be a better planet through therapy!))
Retroactively claim the non-planetary exemption on the last three years of form 1040
Rent movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact, and plan its strategy for getting even
Write the latest diet fad about how to go down a size without diet or exercise
Complain that it's unfair for Plutonium to still be an element
Write its autobiography: "9th Place: The story of fame, glory and loss at the edge of the solar system"
Plot revenge against Xena; It is all her fault!
Now that it's out of the public eye, it will quietly divorce Charon and find a nice Van Oort belt dating service.
Grow a gut, get divorced and appear on late night "Where are they now?" specials
Write "I will not cross orbits with my neighbors" 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 times
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Last modified: Sep 11, 2006