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Top Ten Signs You've Been on the Atkins Diet Too Long
(submitted by Anty)
When you weigh 99 pounds but have had 3 heart attacks.
Your vocabulary now includes cliches like "The worst idea since sliced bread", "A steak a day keeps the doctor away", and "Go carb yourself".
You weigh 70 pounds and your cholestrol is at 700.
The kids along the road no longer "egg" your house, but throw bread and potatos instead.
You refuse to take communion because of the carb content.
You get a sugar buzz off one Cheerio.
You check your tooth paste to see if it's carb free.
Your doctor tells you that you've got the diet of the average puma.
You no longer sweat so much as you extrude Crisco from your pores.
(Me, Myself, and I)
You consider buttered bacon a healthy breakfast.
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Last modified: Feb 19, 2004