You don't want to make Butch, your other cellmate, feel neglected.
(oh, billy)
With Alan Greenspan already married, I mean, hey, what's the point?
(Alfredo Garcia)
Billy says girls are icky and have cooties. Damnit, the man's a gynaecologist, he should know.
(duk)
Falling in love takes all gusto out of stalking.
(Alfredo Garcia)
Love leads to marriage. Marriage leads to nagging. Nagging leads to having to eat broccoli. You hate brocolli, so what's the point?
(Laffman)
You are afraid she will be scared away by your intense, almost obssessive fascination with Big Bird.
(thegreatmoleman2.0)
You already have more restraining orders than you can handle, so why go fishing for another one?
(Laffman)
You're afraid that the inevitable orchestral soundtrack will disturb Mrs. Ludlow next door.
(david scully)
Finally, after 11 years, you're winning your fantasy baseball league. Can you imagine how much your stats would suffer with a girlfriend?
(lefty)
Ziggyphobia: the fear of getting Ziggy love cards
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