direct from . . .
Top Ten Things We Can All Do To Reduce Global Warming
(submitted by JrsyRose)
Open up the soul of my ex and freeze the planet.
Throw out all of your winter clothing. That's just begging for a sudden global loss in temperature.
Recognise that methane is a greenhouse gas. Make the sale and consumption of beans a war crime.
(jeez, when did YOU miss the memo?)
Return all supermodels to regular model status. They'll be less hot that way.
Install factory-style scrubbers on the backsides of cows.
Drive your SUVs five mph faster to increase wind chill.
Throw used ice cubes outside instead of in the sink.
(No dear I didn't.)
Train kamikaze turtles to attempt to cross freeways en mass, until all roads are blocked by piles of tiny corpses and no one can drive anywhere. Their descendants would have become extinct anyway.
Buy your alchohol in the largest available containers to reduce those wasteful hourly trips to the store.
Hold hands and sing songs with a smorgasbord of pop stars.
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Last modified: May 12, 2003