direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Your Stockbroker Is Burned Out
(submitted by Howdi)
The last time you saw him, he was curled up in the fetal position in a bed of your shredded stock certificates.
He has removed the hanging plant in the corner of his office and replaced it with a noose.
When you ask him for a recommendation, he replies, "Like it matters - flip a frickin' coin, I don't care!"
The last financially sound advice he gave you involved trading in all your dot.com stock for confederate dollars.
He left a sheet of paper in the copy machine titled "Rules for Fight Club".
After consulting his "Magic 8 Ball" he informs you he has a hot tip on some fast rising stock !
Recommends a new start up to you because "it's got a really cool logo."
Ends every transaction call with, "There! Are you happy now?!"
He writes off 32 gallons of whiskey as "business expenses".
(Krig the Viking)
His phone is answered by the Pets.com sock puppet.
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Last modified: Aug 1, 2002