direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Independence Day Picnic
(submitted by Joe Cool)
Even the ants won't touch the food.
(rorschak, ardnax, Ayfel Seeyio)
"Do you want asparagus or brussel sprouts with your seaweedog?"
They're going to use bottle rockets to light the grill.
Sack race with body bags from city morgue
The store was out of burgers and hot dogs, so you're grilling Ramen noodles.
You're eating red, white, and blue potato salad that wasn't originally colored that way.
Everyone else is wearing old style British uniforms and has signs that say, "Next time for sure."
Will Smith is dragging an alien across your front yard.
Who ever heard of 7AM fireworks and food?
On closer inspection you see the invite actually read "In Depends pants" picnic.
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Last modified: Jul 9, 2001