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Top Ten Signs You Shouldn't Be Operating Heavy Machinery
(submitted by Boneman)
You've noticed it's quite hard to operate the Welder and Drill Press simultaneously with your only arm.
You spent $175 in quarters trying to retrieve a stuffed toy from one of those arcade crane games.
You've just heard yourself say "Hey, y'all - watch this!"
In High School, you were voted "Most Likely to Crash a Bulldozer into a Church".
You are being beaten up by a "real live" ostrich with 2 heads.
You ask the equipment dealer if you can get training wheels for your bulldozer.
You've broken down four houses in the last week, and that was just operating a lawnmower.
The pink elephants begin to gang up you, demanding a ride on the steamroller.
Co-workers have placed beeping lights on your hardhat as a safety measure.
The stoplight on the corner is showing three colors: purple, plaid and grmpktxxlc.
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Last modified: Feb 3, 2000