direct from . . .
Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Lawyer
"Hardly any of my clients have been executed."
"Forget your trial for a minute. Let me tell you about these great deals through Amway."
"So, members of the jury, in closing I'd like to say that it turns out we really don't have a case. Sorry for wasting your time."
"Oh boy - we've got Judge Anderson. He still hasn't forgiven me for running over his dog in the parking lot last month."
"Not only am I earning a good sum from this case, but it finally gives me a chance to get to know that hot opposing lawyer a little better..."
"Whoops! I forgot about that law!"
"Your Honour, I'd like to use my phone-a-friend lifeline."
"Well, at least we can avoid the death penalty."
"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the case."
"Okay, let's think appeal today."
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Last modified: Mar 9, 2000